So I don't know what it is but for some reason I just have not been able to get away from the sweetness and all the baby-like beauty of my secondborn. It just has been one of those days where I have been absolutely caught up by everything that is Travis. I just cannot get enough of him. First of all, I just need to put it out there: the little guy simply lights up whenever he sees me walk into the room. I mean, you can actually see it: his smile just grows so large and becomes so bright and he just stares and adores and I. Love. It. I love that I am his world right now, because I know that this will be just for a season; before long he will be too busy crawling and exploring and trying his best to be like his older brother or daddy, so for the moment, I am just embracing every little bit of it. From the way he holds my hands to the way his eyebrows burrow in intense concentration as his investigates his newest toy to the way he is so absolutely captivated by his brother. He is starting to interact so much more when Colin laughs with him or talks to him and Cj is absolutely amused by this. He's just figuring out new ways to get his little brother to laugh again, or even what it is that he can protect Tj from. It's been so amazing to see how he takes on the big brother role already and rushes over to Tj's side to soothe and say that it's going to be alright {when in reality Cj is just running away from his source of fear while Tj is trying to figure out how to get closer to the action}.
In anycase, it amazes me in these moments that I AM actually a mom. In some ways, I cannot remember a time before children, but then in others, I'm floored by the fact that this baby attached to my hip or that toddler clinging to my leg are actually mine. My boys. I can't help but think, "who thought that was a good idea?" because, really? Do you know me? Seriously. Me...a mom? Some people, I feel, were born maternal. I am not quite sure I was. Well, I guess most people see and think of me as a mom today, but when I sit down at night and I still look back at the entirety of my day and have no idea how it all got figured out. But it happens, and I can't help but think God is truly so good. I guess that's what it all goes to display in the end, and that truth is really pretty cool.
In any case, it all changes so quickly and I just want to make sure I can remember and be reminded of these moments of glory on those days that I just want to pull my hair out. SOo, I'm going to continue enjoying the scent of 'baby' on Tj {or rather, his baby shampoo} and watch him blow those raspberries at his daddy and smile at the drooly kisses he leaves on his older brother. I've been given a pretty other-wordly privilege to do so, and I would rather not spend my time or energy on anything less.
