Shmorgishborg

So I'm averaging about five posts a month. I think I need to maybe make a resolution to get at least 10 posts or so out there to be considered a blogger. I duno. Honestly, at the end of the day, I'm really okay with whatever and however it turns out, but sometimes I feel like if I don't keep up, it defines my reliability or credibility or something.

Excuses, excuses.
Anyway, aside from that, I have been dealing with and working through some things & stuff over the last several weeks, much of which involves processing through some broken, past, childhood ...and adult ...experiences. I think I properly excused myself over the last few months to process it all offline in a safe community {love you guys!!} rather than gushing it all on here.  For now, it's probably better this way, trust me.

Summertime!
In the meantime, our family of four has been embracing the summer as best as we can. Albeit it’s been chock full of crazie at times, there are definitely some moments that have been sweet and savory.  I mean, honestly it is no different than any other season, except that I am sporting a deeper tan than I have ever been able to in a while.  Good times.

The Home Office
J and I are finally tackling our home office and it is starting to take shape (J is probably more excited than me; he's been looking forward to a fully functional home office for quite some time). I like getting my hands dirty at home and I enjoy that delicious feeling of productivity and accomplishment at the end of a hard working day. Engaging in this activity together is simply icing on the cake.

Backyard 
We have some wasps invading our backyard space, so I'm waiting for the exterminator (or 'terminator' as Cj refers to them) to come in and do what they do. I hope to play a little back there, with the boys of course, but more so with function and design.  I have been lusting over some oasis-like-backyards and coveting my own. I will receive an immense amount of satisfaction once my herbs getting planted. Yes, yes, I understand the summer is half over. I still want to plant them.

Cj
Ahh, my loving 3 year old (going on 12) is at a darling stage with his "excuse me?"'s and "may I go potty?" {Yes, the potty.  It's happened!  I know, I'm excited about it too.} Anyway, I can't help but chuckle or just stop and stare at him sometimes. I often wonder how long it will last and grieve a bit if I start to dwell on a future that has yet to happen. Sometimes it takes me a while before I can shake it off and figure out ways to treasure the now.

Tj
Finally making his place in the world and piecing together some words, or maybe phrases… or really at the very least just use one or two in context like “paaish” (please) and “taa-shu” (thank you). "Nooo" is always readily accessible and “ahh whaa daaiiee” (I want daddy) is his favorite, especially when he sees me greet him in the morning.  Thanks son. I appreciate the love.

The most recent episode involved this little guy somehow taking down a gallon of extra virgin olive oil (it wasn't full) and then proceeding to pour it all over himself and the carpet while I was in the kitchen cooking.
.:: Sigh::.  I think I just have to expect this kind of crazie with two toddler boys.  When I finally found him and all the evidence on and surrounding him, I honestly wasn’t even shocked. I pretty much said “yup, thaaat’s about right” and just got straight to cleaning.  I had to take a picture; he was just down right proud with himself (and that dimple is so darn charming).

Shows how far I’ve come from cherishing a spic and span house to embracing the spots and stains.

Okay probably not embracing it, per se. Learning to live with and accept (for now) is a better way of putting it.

Wordfilled Wednesday

I had to post this because Cj always tells his dad on his way out for work in the morning to be sure to catch the bad guys. { I may have at one time told him that his dad was a superhero during the day, I duno, I'm not sure =P  }.

Anyway, this is EXACTLY what Cj is thinking when his dad leaves for work in the morning. I'm certain of it.

Just Say No!

Somehow it keeps happening: we have an unhealthily-full schedule. It feels like I keep trying to harness it, but somehow, we end up packing it all in. Week after week. As self-appointed social coordinator of our family, I'm quick to take the blame, so it has been my continuous goal to calm our schedule down more than a little …each week.

But it doesn’t seem to be working.

So I mentioned that perhaps we just need to learn to say “No.” Well, not really learn, because we actually know how to say it {at least so much more than we did 5 years ago.}. Also, it isn't like we are this delicate couple just too intimidated to say, “sorry maybe another night”. The problem is that we love everyone and everything.

We love our friends, we love people, we love having people over, we love church, we love our nights at home together, we love going into the city, we love trying new things, we love helping, we love serving, we love eating, we love talking …we love listening. We love doing everything. So it isn’t that we can’t say no to things we don’t want to do…

… it’s that we just want to do everything!

It’s difficult when both partners want to do everything. We each, on our own… and together…  enjoy so many things. But fortunately, life is a bit different now with our little guys and their needs. The fact is that our decisions really need to be intentional, not because we are trying to keep to some kind of schedule {I mean, there is definitely a basic routine to the eating and napping and playing/learning that keeps them healthy} but because our decisions now affect two lives that have been put into our responsibility. That’s not to say we want to stop everything we are doing because we have kids, but I think it does mean that we need to show discernment and wisdom and care …and an amount of intentionality… with the choices we make, the people we invest in, the new things we try.

So eventually we’ll get it. I feel a personal responsibility to make it happen. One day we’ll see it in our google calendar: a completely event free week. Ahh. I can dream, can’t I? 

Well, maybe not completely event free =) 

Thankful Thursdays: I'm not giving up

So back in another lifetime, I used to post on a blog of mine that was anonymous to the world wide web.  I was still posting on that one when I created this one, so when I came across Jason Mraz’ new video {at the time} "I Won't Give Up", I had to post it. I mentioned how I couldn’t help but think of my husband and of the life we’ve lived through.  Married couples go through much, but we have lived a life most don't ever expect to live.  

I can say, despite all the craziness that has happened, some things remain, and the one being this four letter word called Love. How can I rightly convey all that I have learned; all that I am grateful for? My husband, he teaches me so much and says so much and loves so much, despite of who I am, or really, of what I’ve done.  When I struggle with life or with what I think of me, Jus often says or does things that paint such a beautiful picture of who God is…and I am reminded once again of a powerful story of Love...of Truth...and of Grace...

of the One who transforms.


Last week, we set Storytellers to tape on our dvr and Jason Mraz was going through a few of his songs, talking about the behind the scenes on each. At first, we did it for Cj because he loves watching, or rather playing his guitar, with the concerts {seriously? what toddler is watching palladia as much as mine??} but then Jus and I really liked this song and truthfully, I just wanted to hear the story behind it.

To Write Love On Her Arms  {I will have to repost from my old blog about them at another time} shared this on Facebook last night and I was just reminded about all of these things, all over again. 


I had to share.

Get More: I Won't Give Up (VH1 Storytellers Sneak), Music Videos, Live Performances

"I've been given everything...and yet, one still experiences melancholy"

There are a many, many songs that capture the emotions and brilliantly speak the heart's language. If I were to go into each of them and why they captivate me for whatever reason that might be, I would have to dedicate an entire blog to such a project {ooh, an idea}.  So, for the time being, this is just one of the many that resonate with my being. 

If you are interested, this is the original video that caught my attention...

"I won't give up" by Jason Mraz

Second Child Syndrome

Oh the second-handed treatment. Second borns just get the short hand of the stick, and the parental guilt can be overwhelming. Try as I might, I just can't keep up...

See what had happened was....
My husband, Justin, is a second born. When we found out about Travis, his only wish was that we would love him and treat him exactly the same way we did/ would with Colin. I get that. I mean, I may be a first born, but I remember the complaints my brother would give about being "Sherry's brother" {though that has COMPLETELY flipped now to me being "Mikey's sister} or even Jus' infamous story that there remain albums and albums of his older brother and yet a little envelope tucked on the bottom shelf with the words "Justin - birth to present" written on the front {of course many of you know him and his stories, and they are fully saturated with exaggeration} In any case, we both really wanted to make sure he would get the same pictures and the same attention and love we provided Colin.

Unfortunately, he came in second which means, he's second to arrive at everything else, well at least for a while. Oh don't get me wrong, we LOVE him {have you seen the little guy? I mean, how could we not?!} but there just has been another who has already captivated us in all things 'new'. What, Travis is gonna roll over? Been there. Wait he's starting to sit up on his own? Yah, show me something we haven't seen already. He's about to eat with a spoon? Well, guess who just started eating with a fork?

And to be honest, our first born is still young enough that there are still "firsts" still happening with him.

Poor Travis.

However, Jus {in all his infinite wisdom} did voice a important reminder about just how much we get to enjoy all those "firsts" again. Those special moments which HAD come and gone with Colin. We get baby feet again. There are those heart-melting smiles showcasing just how happy he is to be alive.  Everything is so new and exciting to him. His laughs. Dirty diapers are just not as nasty.

 ...and he's just the sweetest thing.

It'll be a wonderful "new" experience for both my husband and I just to see who these little men become and in the process, seeing each of them for who they are and appreciating them in that.  Travis is already showing how different he is from his brother and I'm so excited to see what comes next.

Second born DOES not mean second best and I love that.

{see, Jus, you are just as cool as me!}

Sleep wakings

So about a month or two ago, as J and I were getting ready for bed, we heard banging coming from Colin's room. I told J to go in quietly, just to make sure he was okay {maybe he fell out of bed} since the sounds would continue after several long pauses.  So he went, and I heard the door open, then a cry from Colin and then J's soothing tone.

A few minutes later he walks back in with Colin draped over his shoulder and looks at me quizzically, whispering: "that was the strangest thing I have ever seen. He was just standing in front of his dresser, opening and shutting the drawer"

Um, I'm sorry. What did you say?!

And the next thing you know, images from paranormal activity start flashing through my head {yah, from the trailers, uh, because I cannot watch those things}. What is this man saying, that my child might be possessed or something? I have heard of sleepwalking and such, especially of stories from back when I was in school, and I even remember a few nights last year when Colin was but a few months old and he would definitely be going through some sort of nightmare even though his eyes were open and looking around {I remember, we would get him and it would take him at least 5-6 minutes to recognize that we were his dadda and momma, as long as we kept soothing and talking to him, and yes, while he was 'awake'}

But this, I'm sorry, is so creepy. I'm just not used to it. Okay, well I shouldn't say that. J actually talks in his sleep. But really only just a few words at a time. Like "oh no, thats not what he said" or "watch out for the hole in the sidewalk" {what IS he dreaming about?} and actually just now he stretched and said "we shouldn't go there."
[I was once told if you catch them at the same tone and level of volume and ask them a question, you could continue the conversation. And I will guiltily, yet happily tell you that I have done that MANY a time.]
So I responded with "yah, definitely, right?" and got him to say "good thing we didn't go yesterday".

{I wish I knew what he was talking about. One of these days I'm going to get him to tell me a whole story and record it so he gets to hear it. One of these days...}

Anyway, so the accounts with my DH might be more on the hilarious side, but really because it just doesn't get much more exciting than that. But to get out of bed and start doing normal things, well, opening and closing drawers over and over again really isn't normal. It's creepy. Like scary movie-paranormal-ghostly- creepy.

I'm hoping its what the doctors and most people have said about this age; that it'll pass. What do you think? Any of you encounter phenomenons like this with your loved ones?

Really, just tell me that it's going to be okay.

wordless wednesday

justin & cj

{ Birthday } Night Out

Friday night was Jus' birthday.

We've started a new 'tradition' (Jus is as much obsessed with creating family traditions as I am with celebrating holidays) where we go out to a really nice steak house - just the two of us - for his birthday. He's not a real big party guy (even though I am) and though he loves hanging out with lots of people, he would rather spend his birthday with just his family (whereas, I love my family, but would rather spend my birthday with lots of people) So about a month ago, he said that all he really wanted for his birthday was to have a date night in the city with me! {insert 'awww's' here} soooo... we decided the two of us would head out to the big city and celebrate on saturday (instead of trying to rush out of work on friday and dealing with the added stress) making it Jus' birthday-night-out for the year 2012!

Of course Jus had to go into work for the morning, so I enjoyed the day with the kids until it was time to go. Since I had most of the day to pack up the boys' stuff and get them all ready, I was able to get them all loaded up, and over to pick up Justin from work just around their naptime. We dropped the boys off with the inlaws, who live right outside of NYC, and then we drove back into the city for our night out on the town.

It was nice. No kids menus, no high chairs or baby bags. It was a nice full night of adult conversation with no 'time-outs'. We had a nice walk around times square and got to walk into the stores on fifth ave for a bit. I almost talked Jus into buying a sports coat (I'll probably just get it for him later this month) and worked up a good appetite for our ribeye steaks at Smith and Wollensky's.  So, we were able to accomplish most of what we wanted to in the city.  Walking around midtown, check. Steakhouse dinner, check. Rooftop view of the city over drinks, check. Little late night music with a really pretty good cover band in Greenich Village, check. It was also getting pretty silly, because we kept pushing ourselves to stay up a little longer and check out another spot. I mean, we had the night off, we had to do it right! But after I caught myself nodding off in the car on our way out of the village, we decided we probably should call it a night.

It was when we proceeded to 'sneak' back into his parent's place so as to not wake anyone up that I felt young again =)

All in all it was a very fun night!

Happy Birthday Husband!

Today is my husband’s birthday – not a milestone one, but still one that is very special, because he was born 34 years ago, today! I love celebrating birthdays. It’s a brilliant excuse to indulge without getting accused of being outlandish. I mean, it’s your day! Take off from work. Go do something you have never done. Dance in the Rain. Enjoy some extra calories (ok, ok, but don't take it too far). I firmly believe we get to make one day of the year an exceptional personal day. Also, since I am quite a diva when it comes to my own, I require it to be a big-deal-kind-of-birthday.

But with that said, it is hard for me not to think like that for the people that I care about, and most especially for my favorite-est person in the world. With all that we have been through, he deserves more than just a day dedicated to commemorate his entrance into existence. I truly do wake up sometimes in utter disbelief that I am married to someone as wonderful as him. I hope a day does not go by without him knowing by my actions and words just how much he means to me. So in this effort, today I just want to profess a true admiration for my husband.

He’s a man among men, and truly deserves having it shouted from the treetops (I would say mountain tops but we don’t have any mountains in long island). I was drawn to him in the past, not only because he is tall, dark and handsome (which he really is!) but because of who he is. His character is captivating and as a lawyer, he has stood out in a culture that often lacks integrity.  He continues to mature and today he is man that is intelligent, but compassionate, tender and yet so strong. He has convictions which he will not compromise but somehow does so with such gentleness and grace. His confidence blends well with humility and is so damn appealing. To top it off, he makes everyone laugh.

We will have been married ten years this August, (we've been married almost a decade!! ahhhh!) and to say that I have been a handful to deal with, well that would be an understatement, and yet even through all of that PLUS the erratic-pregnant-hormonal-waves over the last several months, he continues to stick by me. I haven’t seen him throw his hands in the air (maybe he does behind closed doors!) and he still likes me for whatever mysterious reason that may be. And you should see the way he adores our boys. I am so in love with the fact that he is so in love with our little guys. I don’t often hear many promising statements about husbands & their children, but Jus, he can’t get enough of them. He has transitioned into fatherhood so effortlessly, I am truly blessed. He is a good, good man.

Jus, you are my partner, my soulmate, my best friend ...you are so smart, so hardworking, so gifted and soo hott. Love you babe. “You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words!” SoS 1:16a

Happy Birthday Husband!