Cookies and crumbs

I was talking to some friends the other day and I shared how becoming a mother of 2 {boys especially} has grown me into a mom less obsessed with first impressions and more engaged with patience and real connection.

I mean, let's be honest, most of us who are parents will admit that before having our precious little ones, we had envisioned these ridiculously unrealistic snapshots of our future with children.

They would follow all the rules. They wouldn't argue back. They would eat food that was deemed appropriate for mealtimes. They would eat all of said food.  Candy and cake would never be consumed. They would sit at the table like good little boys and girls and not run around in circles, and scream in each other's faces and climb on furniture.

They would go to sleep when it was their bedtime. They would play nice with everyone and share with their friends. They would figure out how to use the potty on their own and learn their A, B, C's and 1, 2, 3's and geometry all too quickly.

They would never spill anything on the couches, or carpets, or on every surface imaginable. They wouldn't think of walking around the house eating junk food. Toys would go back right where they belonged after being played with. They would make their own beds. The clean up song would be sung with eagerness and joy as they moved from putting toys away to perhaps tidying and wiping down the rest of the house.

They would never hurt each other. If they did {accidentally, obviously}, they would take the initiative, give themselves a time out and offer an honest apology, with perhaps a plea for forgiveness.

Okay, so maybe a few of these are more than a dream away.

Either way, I'm less and less interested in displaying my children as showpieces and more interested in allowing them to learn and grow at their own pace, & in a fun, safe and trusted environment.

I'm finding out that this involves a few learning points for me in the meantime. 

1. It means that it sometimes isn't about me and it IS about them. 

2. It means that it's okay to be okay with the "messy" {even if everyone around you looks at you and your kids with eyebrows raised} and to patiently teach my kids as they learn at their own pace.

3. It means replacing those polished doorknobs and sparkling floors sometimes with spots and stains; the granola and veggies with cookies and crumbs.

I know it's a process and I'm still learning, but I hope I'm getting it.

Messy Masterpiece

So in our living room, we have an empty, red wall, which we stare at often because our television sits in front of it. There hasn't been anything on that wall in some time because we have been looking for a particular piece of artwork, specifically one on a long, short canvas that would sort of lay above the tv.  Nothing we saw ever fit our budget or really fit what we were looking for ~ design-wise ~ so I thought why not just make something. I'm not intimidated by that.

I was inspired by a post “messy masterpiece” where daughter and mom created an artpiece “if it’s not messy it’s not fun” for her daughter’s room.

the original 'masterpiece' …which i love by the way

I liked the quote and I really loved the way it came out…and when it comes to brushes and paints and canvases, I'm easily inspired {let's just say I find the idea of teaching my boys arithmetic far more daunting than art}.  So this seemed to be an easy DIY that would allow us to showcase some of the boys’ creative talents WHILE filling up that blank red space at the same time. Two birds. One stone.

So I went out and bought a canvas and used some items I already had at home.

Canvas
Alphabet Stickers* {I used Artskills Poster Letters & Lettering}
Acrylic Paint and/or Finger paint

* I took the tip from her post and used white alphabet stickers. I had those in the lettering packet and I thought that might work best so that the kids wouldn’t try and pick at them. It was a success. Honestly, I think they were just really into getting paint all over their hands and then all over the empty, white canvas.

We used four different paint colors, mostly with an analogous color harmony, {or side-by-side on the color wheel, like red, orange and yellow}, with those that would work in our living room. I added purple to give it some depth.  We did one color at a time, and I used paper plates to separate each color. Since we did it outside on our deck, the paint dried up by the time we went to get our next color. {There are some "brown" areas where the paint didn't dry and the colors mixed together, but that's okay. It's supposed to be a little messy!}

Then we peeled off the stickers after everything was dry, and voila! Our masterpiece.

I had white paint that I was going to use to clean up the paint that found their way underneath the stickers, but then after taking them off, it really did seem appropriate. So I just touched it up a tad bit, but left a little of the color there.  I was planning to paint the words "life is" before it but then I just liked the way it came out so I left it alone.

{NOTE: If you don’t have the stickers, you could always just paint your word, or phrase, on there with stencils or free hand}

It was fun. I wish I had taken more pictures of us actually making it, but I didn’t think that far ahead. Anyway, here is the finished piece on our red wall:

Honestly, I love it. Especially since over the last few years I have come to learn and live with “messy” being a very big part of our vocabulary. It just seems appropriate, don't you think?

Elusion… Illusion …?

See, here's the problem.

I don't have a lot of time. Time eludes me. Well, actually I have the same amount of time everyone else does but for some reason my management of it has grown terr-- …no, rather, it has shrunk. I'm at a loss.

Everything in me wants to share the blame with my two sweet, lovable, busybody boys. But, if I am being honest, I just can't.  They are a part of my life and I devote most of my day to building them up. So what I have not done is learn how to manage my time or perhaps…maybe J and I - we have not developed the ability to say "no."

"No I don't have time for that…" "No, we may not be able to take that on this time…" "No, we may need to meet another day…or in about 6 months… or something…"

We keep saying yes.

BUT … to be fair, that's only because we are used to doing that. Saying Yes…and really being able to follow through with that. Now, it's all different and we are still not used to it. So we keep saying inviting more into our day, and then quickly realize we are just not equipped the same way we used to be.

BUT THEN… when I scan my emails and see a blog or two where some supermom is doing everything with their kids, AND blogging, AND meal planning AND staying trim {I just threw that in there for some dramatic flair, but you all know what I'm talking about} I just throw my hands up in the air and think, how do they do it? How do they do it all and not get burnt out?

Yes, and then my sweet, patient, and lovingly husband tries to remind me that this just isn't the case and that all moms probably feel the same way… but I refuse to believe him.  I mean, look at their blogs. They seem to have it all down pat.

:: sigh ::

Yes, then again he says if they read my blog, they may feel the same way about me. But see, if you are the wise and truly insightful audience that I imagine you to be,  you would notice that it takes me months at a time to post a word or two on this thing, thus concluding that I am not able to manage my lot.

No?

ANywHoo..

I like to rant and I haven't written in a while and I figured in an effort to be honest and authentic, even here, I would share. Here's the thing: I like to write every day, and I miss it. Truly, I do.  However, falling asleep at 8pm - sometimes without a third meal -  doesn't help. So as I go through this process of figuring out a way to manage my day better or get back into some sort of routine, trust me. I'll be around.

...from the M.O.B. Society

Today I happened to jot down the many confessions for the day, and this article caught my interest from 'mom of boys' mob society blog. It just seemed to take the words out of my mouth, so I thought I would reblog this. Plus there's a giveaway at the site: two birds, one stone. But really, whether you are a mom of boys or just a mom in general, this has been a very resourceful and encouraging site to me. Check it out when you get a free moment…

when you think you’re all alone {and a giveaway!}

By Brooke McGlothlin

We moms, we think we’re all alone, don’t we?

We think our problems are worse than everyone else’s. We think our children’s sinful hearts are more sinful than everyone else’s. We think our weak spots have to be hidden, and can’t imagine telling the truth about what’s happening in our homes.

During those times, we often feel trapped.

I am doing the best I can.

I feel that I have lots of days when I can do this. Then a corresponding amount of days when I feel I cannot.  The roller coaster of emotions messes with my psyche.  I simply cannot keep up. At the end of the day I feel that I am constantly left wondering "did I do enough?" I feel separated from reality and often encounter an out-of-body experience; watching myself go through the motions.

Looking within from time to time is always a valuable assessment, but to live in a constant state of uncertainty and timidity is a poor place to reside. At least for me, it is.

I don't like living in that.

But, here I am.

. . .

Days like these, I have to remind myself of many, many things.

One of which is that even though I may not feel like it, I am doing what I can, the best way that I know how and I'm praying for One to make up the rest.

Please Lord, make up the rest.

Sick day?

So what do you do when you get sick? When your throat starts to get sore, when your body aches, when your head seems to, all of a sudden, be too small to hold in all the pressure that is pushing up against the sides, desperately trying to get out...

"Hello Boss, I can't come into work today..."

While the thought of laying on my couch in my snuggie with a hot cup of steaming, honey-infused, ginger tea, and a box of tissues nearby does sound appealing, Cj would be climbing on top of me trying to take my snuggie away while Tj would be too busy swiping the tissues out of the box before eating every single one.

Hmm...

Well, I am not really feeling sick enough that I would have called in, but whatever I am feeling is chasing away the appetite, the motivation and any energy that I would need to take on the workload that I have assigned to me for the day.

Colin and Travis.

All I can see is a picture of myself exhaustedly reaching towards them from my sad, fallen position on the kitchen floor while the boys dance and perform cartwheels {i realize travis can do neither if even colin could cartwheel} around me after taking about an hour to do everything they I have ever told them NOT to do.

How do you "call out of work" when work is with you. 24/7.
?

The other concern is how to "stay away" from them so they don't catch whatever it is that ails me.  I can probably refrain from giving them millions of kisses, but I am still going to be holding them and feeding them and participating in all sorts of contact-full activities. I am not sure how to completely avoid them. Well, I guess they are going to just have to get immune real quick and show me that those vitamins are really doing the trick, or join misery.

Which reminds me I gotta go pick up Travie's vitamins.

:: sigh ::

Well, tomorrow is thursday, and thursday is cleaning day. I'm not sure how much cleaning is going to get done in this condition. Here's to hoping and praying this hot tea Jus made {thanks babe!} cures my ailing throat.

The Twos

The inevitable has happened. Colin has hit the terrible twos.

Okay, so he has always had his moments {obviously} but more of them seemed to be sweet than terrible, or at least that's how I've seen them to be. Now, all of a sudden {and I mean over the last two days} he has started to look me square in the eye, lean back and very purposefully say "No." ...or scream or yell or hit or kick or somehow show me that he is in charge of his own destiny.

He has even started to tell me "stop it" when I give him an unexpected kiss or hug.

What has happened to my sweet little charmer, who would run over and give me tight hugs with an enormous amount of kisses and belly laughs.

The innocence is wearing away.

I thought I had 15 years or so before that happened.

Well, now I have no idea how to handle this because I thought I had finally gotten a handle on the lil' monster moments. Time outs, serious conversations and the firm tone have all seemed to lose their value, or at least they do not seem to be working like they once did. So I am fresh out of ideas.

Its days like these where I wish I had more perspective on parenting. Everything within me just wants to yell back or throw my own tantrum, but most of the time I just look completely calm on the outside {which probably infuriates him all the more}. But, I have been learning more about how establishing trust between you and your kids majorly affects their attitudes and their behaviors, and I mean, yay, that's great and all. So, I've got it all in theory. It's the struggle of making that become a reality that I haven't seemed to get a handle of  It's hard to step back to see the big picture when you are dealing with the crazie details.

It's just hard to grasp that clarity in the midst of the moment.

So I write. Writing is like praying with a pen, or something, for me. Its about the process and I don't always get all the answers, but I do get peace and perspective. I firmly believe He gives me fresher perspective when I write.

So, new challenge: build trust. Hmm, we'll see. Now I just have to figure out how to do that more than I do now...

fuzzy logic

some days i just want it to be easy.

i know it's not supposed to be, or rather, that it can never be just simple. the fascinating thing about life and all of us as human beings is that we are complex creatures, created to interact with each other...

as we take in the things around us it adds or even enhances that complexity


i get that. i can appreciate that.

but then life gets too messy sometimes. too crazie. you can have relationship hiccups. or just a day/week/month/year/decade where you just want to start it all over again.

and then there are those days and it feels like one of those scenes in the movies where everything is just swirling around and you can barely remember how you made it back to where you started.

i'm having one of those days.

there are too many things to do, too many things to think about, too many this, too many that....

its just too much. 

to feel overwhelmed ...it seems like such an understatement.

i know i'm going to wake up in the morning and read this and wonder what was going on to have written such a vague post. but that's what my brain is sending signals about at the moment. it's all

full of vagueness.

Wordless Wednesday



silly momma & colin having fun with photobooth

So hello again.

So I took a break from blogging and most things social-media related ...for a whole week. I just needed some time off to focus and also had some business type items to tie up, and as a result, I got to spend a little more time with the boys. Tj started sitting up on his own and so I've been a little more conscious of him since he is only now starting to master it.  Now that he is, Cj is just too excited for words. I feel like he thinks that this "brother" of his is finally a person and not just this blob of mass lying there.

Tj also found his lungs this weekend. Now he really lets me know when he isn't happy about something and it has completely caught me off guard. Where did my little quiet, innocent little baby go? He's growing up.

::Sigh::

But on the other hand, it's so fun to watch them interact more. That just keeps increasing each day. I can't wait to see them having mini-convos on the side....well until they are talking about me =)

It's true. I'm a mom.

So I don't know what it is but for some reason I just have not been able to get away from the sweetness and all the baby-like beauty of my secondborn. It just has been one of those days where I have been absolutely caught up by everything that is Travis. I just cannot get enough of him. First of all, I just need to put it out there: the little guy simply lights up whenever he sees me walk into the room. I mean, you can actually see it: his smile just grows so large and becomes so bright and he just stares and adores and I. Love. It.  I love that I am his world right now, because I know that this will be just for a season; before long he will be too busy crawling and exploring and trying his best to be like his older brother or daddy, so for the moment, I am just embracing every little bit of it. From the way he holds my hands to the way his eyebrows burrow in intense concentration as his investigates his newest toy to the way he is so absolutely captivated by his brother. He is starting to interact so much more when Colin laughs with him or talks to him and Cj is absolutely amused by this. He's just figuring out new ways to get his little brother to laugh again, or even what it is that he can protect Tj from. It's been so amazing to see how he takes on the big brother role already and rushes over to Tj's side to soothe and say that it's going to be alright {when in reality Cj is just running away from his source of fear while Tj is trying to figure out how to get closer to the action}.

In anycase, it amazes me in these moments that I AM actually a mom. In some ways, I cannot remember a time before children, but then in others, I'm floored by the fact that this baby attached to my hip or that toddler clinging to my leg are actually mine. My boys. I can't help but think, "who thought that was a good idea?" because, really? Do you know me? Seriously. Me...a mom? Some people, I feel, were born maternal. I am not quite sure I was. Well, I guess most people see and think of me as a mom today, but when I sit down at night and I still look back at the entirety of my day and have no idea how it all got figured out. But it happens, and I can't help but think God is truly so good. I guess that's what it all goes to display in the end, and that truth is really pretty cool.

In any case, it all changes so quickly and I just want to make sure I can remember and be reminded of these moments of glory on those days that I just want to pull my hair out.  SOo, I'm going to continue enjoying the scent of 'baby' on Tj {or rather, his baby shampoo} and watch him blow those raspberries at his daddy and smile at the drooly kisses he leaves on his older brother. I've been given a pretty other-wordly privilege to do so, and I would rather not spend my time or energy on anything less.

I'm the proud parent of...

So I finally took the boys out shopping this morning {usually I go out once a day even if it's just to roam the store, but this has been a not-so-productive week} and it was so great to be out. We got to go to two stores and let me just tell you: my boys are superstars. I mean they were just so good. I think they just wanted to get out of the house. I mean, Cj loves our field trips to 'the store'. He's always grabbing my pantleg at home and dragging me to the door. The boy just likes to be outside. I can't blame him. Both his parents do too. So even when Tj started getting a little fussy at the end of the two hours, Cj kept leaning towards him to let him know we were almost done. It was great!

The best part was when we got home and I left one of my shopping bags at the foot of the stairs. Cj was on his way upstairs to go take his nap {which he loathes doing, but for some reason he was in an agreeable mood today} and he saw my dark chocolate peanut butter cups. Okay first of all these are a serious addiction of mine. I canNOT get enough of them. That and kashi dark chocolate oatmeal cookies {Jus thinks those taste like cardboard. Ha! Jokes on him...more for me!!}.

Now, it's hard enough for me to share chocolate-peanut butter delights in general, BUT when my little boy looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes and pleads with that little itty-bitty voice "momma can I have one, please? can i have one? please mo-om?" It's a hard thing. But, I have been found to share with him from time to time. THIS, however, was certainly not going to be one of those times. And, no, not because I wanted them all for myself {honestly though, can I just say that sharing makes it taste so much better? ...Ohgoodness, i'm such a mom} but because he would never fall asleep for his nap! Soo I looked him right in the eyes and said no. I did promise to give him one after he took his nap though.

Now usually this would result in some kind of struggle for who knows how long. But for some lord-unknown-reason, he looked right back at me for a serious 8 seconds, put it back in the bag and then continued to walk up the stairs.

It. Was. Awesome.

After the shock, I gloated. I know. I'm crazie. But for the moment I was able to feel like I should get one of those nice, white bumper stickers that says "I am the proud parent of a chocolate-peanut-butter-loving and from-time-to-time-obedient son."

Well, at least until he wakes up.

Too many things...

::Sigh::

It's going to be one of those days.

I have, what feels like to be, a million things to do, and only an hour and a half a day to tackle any said one of them. So here I am, I finally got the little guys down for their nap {lately, colin has NOT been taking one} and now I'm looking at this list trying to figure out which priority to prioritize above the rest. I feel that this is the same dilemma I am faced with every week, and every week this list looks the same. I may have crossed out one or two things but then something new pops in to replace it. It doesn't give you that sense of "ahh" accomplishment that I like to look foward to. Even as I write this, I recognize this sad sad story to mirror similar ramblings I may have written about in an previous post {or two}.

When will it end?

Well I wish I had more time to contemplate that, but I don't. At least not today. I just thought I'd let off some steam and write before I make any attempts at knocking down one of those projects today. Actually, maybe if I go in with the attitude that I'm going to fulfill and succeed in completing any of those pesky list dwellers, I may actually do just that.

So here I go. I'll keep you posted on which one gets finished.

{yes "shower" is on the list because if it is not, then I won't get clean}

Tuesday Tip: Promises...promises

So when you make a promise, you got to carry through. I've learned that when I tell Cj something, I need to be prepared to follow through, whether it be a threat or a promise. That means when I tell him he needs to do something or else "x" then I need to make sure "x" doesn't involve something that I can't do.  For example, if we are out and I tell him he needs to stop the screaming or else we are going to go home, I need to prepared for that possibility. Even if that means leaving everything in the cart or saying goodbye to my friends or whatever, it means I do it so I can take him home. I need to make sure I choose a threat or promise that is follow through-able {not a word, I know} or else I should stay quiet.

It really does help when he recognizes that I am not kidding around. I also think that because Jus and I have learned to follow through on what we say with each other, it's actually easier to have that same behavior spill over with the boys. Also, providing options allows Cj to not only be given a sense of ownership but actually gives him that. But, I still give him his options; I am still his mom. This provides him the opportunity to choose, within a framework and teaches him to make decisions. In some ways, he chooses his fate.

Sometimes he tests me, and that's fine. He's making sure that I am not just saying things, even though he knows that I am not. He doesn't do it often, and it's not always so obstinate. Its more like "I'm just checking," well at least so far that is all it has been.  I have noticed that he usually tests me after he has been with grandparents or friends, etc who probably let him get away with a few things here or there, which is fine because that is going to happen. I can't expect them to be on top of that with him, nor is their business to really {if they choose to do so on their own, god bless them}. He IS two. Right now, as long as he knows that we mean business when it comes to his mommy and daddy, we can help steer him in respecting all authority.

I actually like that he tests us {I'm so going to eat these words of mine. Just watch.} because it shows that he is already using the little brain of his to figure things out. I think when I was growing up, I was more of a "okay mommy, whatever you say," and in some ways that isn't always healthy {well, obviously I wasn't like that for everything, I fought with them too...} and sure, it may be easier for the parents, but a thinking child grows up to be a thinking adult {usually}. I'm not saying they shouldn't be obedient; I just don't think an obedient child and a critically thinking one have to be mutually exclusive.  Blind obedience doesn't help them understand {sometimes they might need to settle with that once in a while} but I'm hoping to do more than the "just because I said so" speech at every turn. I'd like to help them understand why.

Well as much as I know why, and as much as I can.

These faces of mine...

My little faces. They look up at me with such innocence, such sweetness, with so much curiosity: "why Mom-mm?"  Life is new and exciting to them, not exhausting or stressful. They live carefree lives with hearts full of hope, eyes so wide and clear and smiles that are so contagious, they honestly just melt everything within me. So much so, it hurts. These faces are so removed from the storms and the struggles and the harsh reality this world brings. Every inch of my being longs to protect them....from pain....from injustice.

From growing up.

Today, if they get scared they easily just run back into my arms. They are safe. I wish I could promise them safety for more than just the here and now. For the forever. But I can't. I can't because I don't know what the future brings. Heck, I don't even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone the next minute or two. One day they will see 'the truth from lies' . The world is not always a place of happily ever after. 

But I am learning that there are arms which they can run to at any time, and arms that will hold them and will protect them. It's a truth, a reality that I used to sing about growing up and a belief I used to hold onto with 'faith like a child.' But it's more than just a song. Its more than some idea that rings from the pulpit or even a spoken word. It's truth. Its real. It's a complicated thing, when you live in a world where things get harsh and lonely and discouraging and painful, to believe a God exists. However, among the ashes, there IS beauty. God does show up. He shows up with beauty in the most incredible ways, and at the most incredible times.  If He's making sure the fields are green and that the flowers are full of glory and that the birds are able to have food and are watched over, its crazy to think He isn't doing all the more for us. I'm wholeheartedly aware that this is easy to say. Sometimes its harder to live it out practically in life and live and know and breathe this to be true.... 

It requires faith.  But faith is not something you just switch 'ON'. {I know this}.  But faith draws me off the couch and politely requests that I step into black shadows and into those places with the darkest corners. Its hard to be be comfortable with faith. 

But who said we're supposed to be comfortable?

Soo....now, I'm trusting Him. It's a process, trust me, but it is with that Faith that He supernaturally gives...and it's pretty cool what happens when I do. I can enjoy these exploring creatures of mine with their inquiring faces and trusting hearts.  They are in my life for this season, and I have the privilege to be in this season with them and I will enjoy it. 

I am enjoying it.

Undone

This week has been hard. There have been an overwhelming amount of tasks on my plate and no time to tackle any of them. Besides that, I am without a desk ~ aka workstation ~ aka office ~ to even get my thoughts in order. I feel like I am all over the place and try as hard as I might, I just cannot get my head to wrap around them. At least not in a way that will enable me to function properly. I used to hear other people talk about this, but I just didn't get it. It used to seem like something you just had to try harder with or adapt to and yet, NOW its my turn, and I'm all kinds of lost. I need to get back on track. I need to figure something out soon or the little thread that has begun to unravel will have me come undone.

But see, I'm used to having a million things on my plate. I'm used to multitasking to the nth degree. It's just that I usually have a space of my own midst the chaos and craziness. That is where there is calm. There is quiet. There is order.

It's my place to go officially bonkers {to the masses} and keep organized in a world of disorder and disarray.

A place where using my sherry-branded filing system, or a post-it, or the organized set of lists from action lists to pending to complete or using the calendar in front of me is available. Now I'm writing things down on random notepads and scraps of paper and they get stuck somewhere deep inside my purse where there is no rhyme or reason, and before long that priority job that I was supposed to handle last week has resurfaced from the blackness and I can't believe I forgot all about it but it is all because this is what a simple, limited legal pad and it's scraps of paper associates can offer me.

Either I get a work station fast, or I need to have a serious day of revamping my system of order and adapt to a new way of life.

Well, except that was what I thought was doing. But apparently it's just not working.

Its not always going to be a good day.

Super Mom {?}

Jus' parents came up this afternoon to hang out with the kids, so I got a few hours to slip away and gather my thoughts. I was actually looking forward to using this time to run some errands that I rather rarely get to, but because it is well into the afternoon, my fuel has begun to run low.  I did, however, get a moment to sit in front of my macbook and stare, which is a lot for me these days, it is. I just kinda let my brain go blank instead of forcing it to get something done. So here we are. I just let my fingers start typing...

...and we have come to the end of my first full week of mommy-dom. It's been quite interesting, to say the least, and honestly, I've come to truly enjoy it. Of course, I'm still getting used to this new life, so not everything is kosher cozy. It's still quite an adjustment. For one, you think you will be able to get to your to-do list and watch it decrease in size, when the opposite is actually what happens.  You not only rarely get to it, it is in fact growing. Besides the maturing list, the first three days of this week I had come to all but completely forget that I even had a list of side projects because, well, my vision and energies were all being focused on the task at hand: being none other than super mom. 

"mommy...where ARE you...."

Like I said though, amidst the bottles and the screams and spilled milk, I've come to enjoy it. For example, I've learned what the daycare teachers were saying when they talked about how much Colin talks. I mean, yes the boy loves to talk, I'll admit it. I see it. But now I really HEAR it. He talks all. the. time.  It's amazing! Sometimes I just stop what I'm doing to hear him having his latest observation spoken out or I get to overhear a new conversation he is having with himself, or the one he's pretending to have with Travis. Sometimes in the car, he's quietly sharing all his thoughts and dreams  to whomever he thinks is listening (it would be me, but he's usually talking as if that someone is right next to him. maybe he's letting travis in on his secrets? who knows.)

In either case, it's been so fun to watch. And to see how much of a social bug he really is. Every trip to the store has resulted in him starting a conversation with the girl at the register or with another child in another cart or just with him waving bye on our way out of Target while repeating "goodbye everybody. goodbye. see you later!" At the playground he just assumes he's everyone's best friend. It's really pretty cool. If anything it's forcing me to push out of the just-the-three-of-us bubble and meeting other mommas and kids. Maybe next week we need to take that visit to the library. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, it takes everything within me not to just cover him with kisses each time. I do enough, trust me. But he would never get to do anything else if I didn't control myself here and there. The best part is when he just stops whatever he's doing to say "thank you momma" and runs over to give me a big hug and kiss ON HIS OWN. 

::Sigh::

I truly am blessed.  It really does seem to make the chaos and stress just melt away.

Poor Jus, doesn't even know what he's missing ...

Tip-Me Tuesday: Laundry

So I thought I'd write a post about laundry since that's what I feel like I have been doing. Everyday.

Laundry is a never-ending, annoying disturbance that just refuses to go away. It's like a sink full of dirty dishes. The minute you turn away from an empty sink, there are dirty dishes back in it again. Except with dirty clothes, it's worse, because as the weekends come and go and the higher the piles get, the less clothes you have. At least with dishes, you could use paper plates or opt to go out. You can't really do that with clothes. Unless you have the cash to keep buying new outfits every time your laundry is overwhelmingly full.

So I've learned a few things, and a few things my fellow bloggers have taught me along the way. So I'd like to share them with you.

Endless Laundry Tips:

1. Not just weekends
I've learned to do my laundry during the week. Yes, that means from monday on. Even though I was so used to doing laundry on the weekends, this was a habit I was actually quite willing to break. It just made sense. I know there are tons of different people out there, and some like to wait till it has all piled up, but I'm really the kind of person that likes to clean-as-you-go instead (much like those dishes). So this was a notion that made sense to me, and I'm liking it. I started the practice of doing my laundry during the week  while I was working, and obviously it's much simpler now that I'm home, but I was still able to do it.  I'd rather use my weekends to enjoy my family than stress over sorting and folding and all that extra jazz.

2. Get to it right away
Here's what usually happens : a pile of dirty clothes transforms into a pile of clean clothes. Yes a pile of unfolded, yet clean clothes. Why?  Because I'd drag the basket up, turn it over on the bed so I could go go back downstairs and have the basket ready for my next set of clothes. Repeat said process, and then by the end of the day the entire pile would have to move from the bed to the floor to make room for us to sleep.  Then after a day or two would go by, I'd begrudgingly make the effort to put those wrinkly clothes in it's proper place.

Now I figured I would try out this new idea to do everything right away (nope, I'm not 100% there yet, but almost...). As soon as those clean clothes are in my room, I fold them. And as soon as they are folded, I put them away. It has really been such a time saver! I didn't realize what those purposeful actions would result in, and yes my natural self does try and rear it's ugly head by convincing me to leave it until another time with that obvious statement "well they are really not going anywhere" but I am standing firm and reminding my self each time that doing it right away really does make me a happier camper.  It's done and then there's more space on my floor and there is definitley a lot less stress to deal with.

3. Schedule
This might be the new thing I try to do that I have been seeing posts from all those great launderers out there who are blogging: set up a laundry schedule. I'm thinking it would sort of look like this: Monday : whites.   Tuesday : Kids  Wednesday : Bedding {or break}, etc.

You know me and my lists and schedules and lists.

This just might add that extra level of organization to the oh-so-wonderful, endless task of laundry =)

First Day At Work...

Okay, so you know you got a good one when your 23-month-old-not-even-2-years-yet son climbs on your lap, turns to look square at you and says "momma!.... i like your shirt".
(ahhhh! he has JUST started putting sentences together and he uses one of those firsts to tell me that?!  ::sigh::  it's going to seriously be a good day)

Today was my first full day at home with the boys as a stay at home mommy. I mean, I got home yesterday in the afternoon, and of course I have had plenty of days at home with them while I was working, but this is really the first day of my full time mommy job.  I have no other office to return to at this present moment. Okay, so really I will probably say that this coming Monday is my REAL first day of work, because that will be the beginning of the first full week, but I'll leave the related post for that time.

Today was a good day.

We just had fun.  Of course I plan to set aside time each day with some sort of 'curriculum' {I know it sounds so strict and unfun, but don't worry, I'm not THAT crazie...there are still plenty of fun times to be had} just to provide some order to our days.  But today was not that day. Today was our day to fill up on  'mommy, come, play!'

I had an enlightening conversation on saturday with a seasoned stay at home mommy who reminded me to make sure I got out every day. Even if it was just to costco with no real shopping trip in mind. Just to get out and to make it an 'activity' with the boys. I really value that advice because I know me, and if I stay in too long, well then I turn into a rather unpleasant human being. I need to get out. And really, Colin is the same way...So I look forward to getting out. I just don't think we can afford shopping each time. Maybe just a few times a week :)

Home Away From Home

Now that I am officially home with the little ones, I decided to take a few days to visit my family in philadelphia (most of you know thats my hometown, although now I live in long island). It's really not that bad of a drive, at least when you drive at night or when there is no traffic (...no traffic? when IS that seriously? ... in new york, there really is no rhyme or reason to it...). I got down in 2.5 hours which is me making excellent time, and just in time for travis' evening feed. It was wonderful. God totally hooked me up. {thank you!!} Originally, Jus was supposed to have a lot of late days at work because of his trial, so this week was supposed to make sense with my allowing him the freedom to work without worrying about us or the kids, while also providing us with the opportunity to visit my family {also my brother is getting married so he and his fiancé were going to use their spring break this week to talk shop and had asked if I would be able to make my way down to help out - again, more on those two later}.  But of course Jus' trial got moved, so I felt more and more like I was going to miss him and that we really should be traveling together.  But he assured me that he would still be able to use the time to work late without having to worry about me and the kids.

Anyhow, we made it down okay and we'll see how the rest of the week goes.  Colin is enjoying most of his time here chasing around 'kitty', my parents' crazy, calico cat who is obviously not as fond of him as he is of her. She's already hissed at him once, but after his initial terrified response, it doesn't seem to be deterring him at all. He's determined to become friends. I'm highly doubtful, but it IS kind of cute to see him try.