Too many things...

::Sigh::

It's going to be one of those days.

I have, what feels like to be, a million things to do, and only an hour and a half a day to tackle any said one of them. So here I am, I finally got the little guys down for their nap {lately, colin has NOT been taking one} and now I'm looking at this list trying to figure out which priority to prioritize above the rest. I feel that this is the same dilemma I am faced with every week, and every week this list looks the same. I may have crossed out one or two things but then something new pops in to replace it. It doesn't give you that sense of "ahh" accomplishment that I like to look foward to. Even as I write this, I recognize this sad sad story to mirror similar ramblings I may have written about in an previous post {or two}.

When will it end?

Well I wish I had more time to contemplate that, but I don't. At least not today. I just thought I'd let off some steam and write before I make any attempts at knocking down one of those projects today. Actually, maybe if I go in with the attitude that I'm going to fulfill and succeed in completing any of those pesky list dwellers, I may actually do just that.

So here I go. I'll keep you posted on which one gets finished.

{yes "shower" is on the list because if it is not, then I won't get clean}

Super Mom {?}

Jus' parents came up this afternoon to hang out with the kids, so I got a few hours to slip away and gather my thoughts. I was actually looking forward to using this time to run some errands that I rather rarely get to, but because it is well into the afternoon, my fuel has begun to run low.  I did, however, get a moment to sit in front of my macbook and stare, which is a lot for me these days, it is. I just kinda let my brain go blank instead of forcing it to get something done. So here we are. I just let my fingers start typing...

...and we have come to the end of my first full week of mommy-dom. It's been quite interesting, to say the least, and honestly, I've come to truly enjoy it. Of course, I'm still getting used to this new life, so not everything is kosher cozy. It's still quite an adjustment. For one, you think you will be able to get to your to-do list and watch it decrease in size, when the opposite is actually what happens.  You not only rarely get to it, it is in fact growing. Besides the maturing list, the first three days of this week I had come to all but completely forget that I even had a list of side projects because, well, my vision and energies were all being focused on the task at hand: being none other than super mom. 

"mommy...where ARE you...."

Like I said though, amidst the bottles and the screams and spilled milk, I've come to enjoy it. For example, I've learned what the daycare teachers were saying when they talked about how much Colin talks. I mean, yes the boy loves to talk, I'll admit it. I see it. But now I really HEAR it. He talks all. the. time.  It's amazing! Sometimes I just stop what I'm doing to hear him having his latest observation spoken out or I get to overhear a new conversation he is having with himself, or the one he's pretending to have with Travis. Sometimes in the car, he's quietly sharing all his thoughts and dreams  to whomever he thinks is listening (it would be me, but he's usually talking as if that someone is right next to him. maybe he's letting travis in on his secrets? who knows.)

In either case, it's been so fun to watch. And to see how much of a social bug he really is. Every trip to the store has resulted in him starting a conversation with the girl at the register or with another child in another cart or just with him waving bye on our way out of Target while repeating "goodbye everybody. goodbye. see you later!" At the playground he just assumes he's everyone's best friend. It's really pretty cool. If anything it's forcing me to push out of the just-the-three-of-us bubble and meeting other mommas and kids. Maybe next week we need to take that visit to the library. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, it takes everything within me not to just cover him with kisses each time. I do enough, trust me. But he would never get to do anything else if I didn't control myself here and there. The best part is when he just stops whatever he's doing to say "thank you momma" and runs over to give me a big hug and kiss ON HIS OWN. 

::Sigh::

I truly am blessed.  It really does seem to make the chaos and stress just melt away.

Poor Jus, doesn't even know what he's missing ...

Personal Day

On those random mornings that I was able to grab a Starbucks skinny mocha before I had to rush into the office, I would enviously watch those few that had the luxury of sitting in one of those plush nooks with a small table while browsing through their laptops or with a newspaper in one hand and a steaming hot cup in the other. I always wondered what that would be like if it were MY morning. Well, with two weeks left to go in my ending position, I decided to use up one of my remaining personal days and actually have one. So here I am, coming to the end of a lovely morning, enjoying this starbucks-window-view I used to only experience back in my more free-spirited days.

This morning, I had a proverbial epiphany (well, it's really nothing new) that I am my own worst enemy.  One of the obstacles to actually enjoying a personal day is that I have way-too-so many things I need want to do. So, either I sit in my imagination-station looking at all those things scattered before me while never touching a single one of them, resulting in a more frustrating end to my day OR rather, I try to tackle every single one (three or four at the same time) and then feel that my personal day off was much more overwhelming than a regularly occupied one.

SOo, this morning I had a stern talking to myself in the mirror, and decided to skip the plans and lists, avoid trying to figure out which priority was really the priority of priorities and just go. So I did.  I dropped the kids off at daycare, and parked in the parking lot of the first Starbucks I saw.

And here we are. Noontime and refreshed. (I'll admit I sorta tried to do eight things at once while on my laptop - read this, blog that, update church things and stuff, hit up pinterest while editing my own site at sherrdesign.com...etc. okay, okay, so no one said I was perfect).

As I wrap up my morning, I am purposefully NOT stressing about the rest of my day. I'll leave the lists of things to do for a day that I'll actually be doing all of them anyway.  I think I'll pick up for lunch instead of worrying about what to make before I head home and then at least tackle cleaning/ organizing the house. Yes, I know I just said I wasn’t going to stress and then in the same sentence said I was going to clean. BUT, I actually find the cleaning therapeutic when I don't have to worry about kids underfoot. Anyway, tonight we are off to Philly (my hometown!) so for me it’s nice to come back to a pretty tidy house after a long weekend.  So I'll try to do what I can, while packing a few items for myself and the boys before I have to pick them up. Sounds like a plan...err...I mean, not-a-plan (no plans!!) to me!

PS: is this what spontaneity looks like for me these days?! Starbucks and then cleaning? ::Sigh:: That's okay.  Next week I need to use my last personal day so I'll save that for the skydiving, or better yet, some dancing in the rain...

wanna join me?