I was talking to some friends the other day and I shared how becoming a mother of 2 {boys especially} has grown me into a mom less obsessed with first impressions and more engaged with patience and real connection.
I mean, let's be honest, most of us who are parents will admit that before having our precious little ones, we had envisioned these ridiculously unrealistic snapshots of our future with children.
They would follow all the rules. They wouldn't argue back. They would eat food that was deemed appropriate for mealtimes. They would eat all of said food. Candy and cake would never be consumed. They would sit at the table like good little boys and girls and not run around in circles, and scream in each other's faces and climb on furniture.
They would go to sleep when it was their bedtime. They would play nice with everyone and share with their friends. They would figure out how to use the potty on their own and learn their A, B, C's and 1, 2, 3's and geometry all too quickly.
They would never spill anything on the couches, or carpets, or on every surface imaginable. They wouldn't think of walking around the house eating junk food. Toys would go back right where they belonged after being played with. They would make their own beds. The clean up song would be sung with eagerness and joy as they moved from putting toys away to perhaps tidying and wiping down the rest of the house.
They would never hurt each other. If they did {accidentally, obviously}, they would take the initiative, give themselves a time out and offer an honest apology, with perhaps a plea for forgiveness.
Okay, so maybe a few of these are more than a dream away.
Either way, I'm less and less interested in displaying my children as showpieces and more interested in allowing them to learn and grow at their own pace, & in a fun, safe and trusted environment.
I'm finding out that this involves a few learning points for me in the meantime.
1. It means that it sometimes isn't about me and it IS about them.
2. It means that it's okay to be okay with the "messy" {even if everyone around you looks at you and your kids with eyebrows raised} and to patiently teach my kids as they learn at their own pace.
3. It means replacing those polished doorknobs and sparkling floors sometimes with spots and stains; the granola and veggies with cookies and crumbs.
I know it's a process and I'm still learning, but I hope I'm getting it.
