I have to admit, it IS nice to have the opportunity to think like an adult, have adult conversations, get some of the items on my list actually crossed off, and even eat sitting down! But I do miss the little smiles the little one has as soon as he hears my voice, and the abundance of kisses and hugs my older dude is always eager to give.
But I know this situation at work is temporary, and because of that, I have made up my mind to enjoy this opportunity given to me. I function and am at peace when there is order and organization, and since the last few months have left me completely disorganized and in a constant battle to 'keep up', the time here is sort of like a little oasis (to me). I know, to all my fellow co-workers, it's hard to believe. But here, I can get my thoughts back in order and figure out a 'plan' for the evenings, and then weekends, and then the months ahead. One step at a time. Honestly, it is much easier to figure all this out with the peace and quiet my desk gives, and even if it is for a month or two, it will hopefully give me enough time to process. I think God knows I need this and I'm grateful He's given it to me. But I am completely aware that by the end of my employment here, I'll be craving some time with my babies... so instead of looking for where the grass is greener, I'm just enjoying the green around me today.
