So I have had an
unbelievably stressful week. I was thoroughly unprepared for it, primarily because I began the week off with a positive attitude. Yes, of course I was expecting my days to be crazy, but I was very much ready to tackle whatever obstacle life threw my way. And of course, it was almost as if the universe took that and said "challenge accepted!" So, last night, I just wanted to throw in the towel and give up (and I almost did). I mean, everything was magnified: my emotions were raging (it's gotta be hormones) and to say that I felt overwhelmed would be an understatement. I was just overcome with feelings of inadequacy (of being a parent), a lack of self value (what had my identity become?...what, with wiping little rear ends and picking up after the path of destruction left behind as my not-yet-two-year-old tore through the house). It was becoming increasingly harder to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Was this ever going to end? I mean, to me, it seems like everyone else comes out unscathed. If there are scars, I never see them. Maybe I just haven't been paying much attention or maybe everyone just walks around like a Stepford Wife, covering up the blemishes and not-so-pretty parts of their day to day. In either case, I'm trying to live with a little more transparency, hoping for the opportunity to showcase that yes, life is difficult - as this week, and oh-so-many others have absolutely proved true - BUT (yes, there is actually a turn in this statement) - I may be able to do these things through the One who gives me strength. Hmm, is that true though? Is it really possible? ...or is this something I've grown accustomed to hearing and saying, words that motivate instead of the truth that supernaturally transforms? I guess we'll see. This week is almost over. I'll let you know soon enough.
