It IS nice that my employer got bought out and that the return from leave is only a temporary situation. For me, anyway. It gives me enough of an opportunity to get back into the 'real world' and get some things tied up here and there right before I commit to being full time mommy. Because here's the real deal: I am also excited, guilty and anxious about being a full time mom. I love those two little faces and the idea of being with them and catching all the new things while being able to teach them is thrilling. But I also struggle with feeling inadequate with the job itself (are my boys gonna result in being nut jobs because of me?) and I am a people person, so being at home without some adult communication isn't exactly my dream scenario, but then that of course comes with some guilt since there's an unspoken understanding (although not absolutely true) that a mom should want to be at home with her kids.
And, I do! Truly.
It's just a little complicated. In a perfect world, I would LOVE a few hours in the morning to get some much needed work done (whether freelance or at home) and then the rest of the day with those beautiful little dudes of mine. But that's not a promised future, so I need to level (and work with) my expectations.
Anyway, this is a little prequel to the present week of figuring out what is in store next, and enjoying what is before me now.
